A few days before Christmas I was diagnosed with strep throat. I know I wasn't the best person all year, but did Santa really need to give me the early Christmas present of strep throat? I know plenty of people who were way worse than me!
It wasn't all bad, the fiancé and I were able to get out of some Christmas festivities. However, it was so painful I was taking an old, non-expired prescription of Vicodin to help, but it only put a very small dent in the pain and mostly knocked me (which I consider a win). I was also hoping that this pain in my neck (the strep throat, pun intended) would get me out of looking at the fake flowers (a girl could only hope).
The fiancé and I missed my mother's side of the family's Christmas party, which the fiancé was indifferent about and I disappointed I was going to miss it. My mom grew up the oldest of 5 so I had a lot of cousins and we were all close in age. We use to make up skits for our parents when we were younger and the last few years we've been playing Scene It, grown ups vs. "kids." I put "kids" in quotes because of course now we are all over 20. The old farts...er, grown ups... usually lose against us and I wanted to be a part of yet another win. However, being contagious and asleep by 6, I could not go.
The next morning, well mid-morning, my immediate family came over for a
brunch. It's nice to do things with my family because it's small (there's only 3 other members besides myself) and none of us have children, except obviously my mom and dad. It's quick and easy, unlike the fiancé's family where he has 3 older sisters and all of them have kids. My family came over and told me all the gossip from the family party; who got fat, who was an asshat, who looked anorexically skinny, and so on. My mom and the fiancé cooked breakfast which was nice and because no one wanted to eat anything Sicky cooked.
When we went to the doctor on Friday and it was confirmed I did indeed have strep throat, I asked for surgical masks so I didn't infect anyone else. And I wanted assholes who made me leave my bed to feel like douches for making me leave that bed when I was sick. What? The choice to not go out and stay in bed? Oh see, but by doing that I'm the asshat that planned a fake illness so I can drive the family apart. No, I'd rather someone else feel like the dick.
The fiancé and I decided we'd drive to the party, drop off our presents, show face (a surgical masked face), and leave. I suggested we do a drive-by present drop off. That is were we drive by the house and throw the presents out the window and continue driving. There maybe broken toys, but at least it isn't a bullet to the gut. We roll up, put on our surgical masks, and step out of the car with a bunch of presents. I wrote "rolled up" cause at the time I felt like a total badass. A badass with white splotches on the back of her throat and a fever. We get in and the famdamly doesn't know what to think. Someone asks us if we got out of surgery. No, but I'd like to cut you, I think. The fiancé explains how I have steep throat, but he could be carrying the germs as well.
There were a few things that surprised me about the party.
1. His mom felt bad we were eating in the garage by ourselves because we didn't want to infect the rest of the family.
2. His mom called me AUNT! Praise the lord! That by far was the best Christmas present.
3. I did not see those damn fake flowers anywhere. Downfall: the fiance's sister got in my face and asked me if I was using them. I'm pretty sure if I wasn't wearing a mask, I'd smell her breath.
4. I am pretty sure I ticked off his grandmother (which really isn't a surprise, but I need to mention it somewhere). She attacked me with questions about the flower arrangements, which I thought I had told his uncle when we meet I will bring along a manilla folder of ideas I do and do not like. So when I told her we would discuss it then and I didn't have the answers to her questions because A. I was sick and B. I hadn't thought of it all yet, she seemed pretty ticked. Oh well.
5. I actually had fun. The fiance's parents gave everyone nerf guns and everyone started shooting everyone. However, now that I have nerf guns at my home and the fiance thinks it is okay to play target practice with our pets, I am rethinking the brillianceness of this gift.
Overall, the holiday was pretty good, despite me feeling like crap the entire time.
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